Anonymous asked: not to sound harsh, grace, but you give really good advice and can't seem to be able to take any of it. you say that someone recovering needs 2500+ & needs "every single calorie" but then you continuously lose weight/are unable to gain, and you say things like "this week my recovery hasnt been as good as it should be" ... i want the best for you bc you deserve recovery and happiness, but honestly you come across very hypocritically at times. how can you suggest the mm if you cant follow them?
No I definitely know that I’m a terrible hypocrite; I guess I’ve been waiting a good while for someone else to point it out. I feel awful for the way I preach information that I can’t seem to apply towards my own recovery.
I always post stuff and then hate myself for the way I sound like a broken record. In a cycle, I’m always slacking, then stating I’m going to change my life, and then falling back a little again. It makes me so utterly mad that I haven’t forced myself hard enough to get going up that slope.
I say this all of the time, and I hope that everyone who reads my blog will forgive me for saying it one more time: I’m so fucking done with this disorder and my hypocrisy and the way I let myself make excuses. I need to learn the level of honest hard work that recovery requires and I am GOING TO DO IT. No more dicking around. No more hypocrisy. If I say that I want to reach the top of the mountain, which I do, I do, I do, I must start somewhere.
I’m so sorry. I promise to you, and the world, that I will make things change. I am going to taste my own medicine, literally. Starting right now.